You know how cows in Argentina have been wearing fart bags?
We'll have them, too. Soon.
I know, most people aren't interested in walking around with a tube in their butt. The cows do it, and the tubes feed ino big fart bags. The farmers reclaim the farts somehow, I don't really know. So, because most people on earth are up tight about this crap, humans will just have snug fitting underwear made of "future polymers" that will convert farts into electricity. Somehow.
Here's the selling point: let loose allllll daaayyy looooong. And charge your cell phone on it. Or rather, feed your lab-grown digital helper monkey robot with it. More about those later.
Beyond the magical fart conversion underwear (somehow), we'll have clothes that will restrict movement in order to burn calories. Holy crap!, you say, just put on skinny jeans and go for a run! But that gives you swamp ass, and not everybody looks good in skinny jeans. Instead, we'll have clothes made up of "future polymers" that can be loose fitting, but provide resistance to movement at key areas in order to make it more straining to walk or move, causing you to burn more calories. It would be kind of like wearing ankle weights, but not nearly as dorky or strange. And you could change the settings, so around the house or office your pants are normal, but when you decide to go for a walk outside, just fart once and the pants go into "fat mode". Burn them calories.
Fat clothes. Somehow.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Grigor
We will one day live in a world where there will exist no copy of The Metamorphosis without highlights, notes, and marginalia.
Sunday, February 13, 2011
TVTTOOS
So, organic LED's are becoming more and more viable, flexible, and printable on more and more stuff, right? I can't wait til I can get a pixel array applied to my skin. Think of it: "charlie bit me" playing ANYWHERE ON YOUR BODY. Anywhere.
lollerskates
If somebody on etsy hasn't already made these I am officially calling dibs. God, I need to learn the patent process.
Lollerskates: Rollerskates that come packaged with a whippit. Lol! They will be kitsch, but they will sell.
They will be useless.
Lollerskates: Rollerskates that come packaged with a whippit. Lol! They will be kitsch, but they will sell.
They will be useless.
Terra Forming in Montana & Kazakhstan
Elsewhere too...*shrug*
So it's 2035, we've got big old movers and explosives that can strategically shift mountains and China has a whole slew of Mt. Rushmores of their own just etched into their hillsides, because by now it's cheap, computer-programmable, and very precise, this terra-forming business is, yep yep.
What to do with it all? Well, you pick a wide open space and hit it with whatever explosives or hand-of-god energy manipulation stuff we've got by then (HAARP research and the LHC might bring back some beauties from the dark side), and wabam poof bang you've got yourself a couple sets of foothills (50, 70 miles long?) and potential for a lush valley between. Yay, lush valleys.
Fly overhead and drop some hyper plant life powder on the wide-open-space-hopefully-fertile-and-not-charred-by-explosives topsoil, and within a year there's plant life everywhere. Begin construction.
Result: an urban planning major's wet dream. Civic space designed from the ground up. Can you imagine what future cities are going to look like? They will be DA BOMB!
And probably riddled with advertisements.
So it's 2035, we've got big old movers and explosives that can strategically shift mountains and China has a whole slew of Mt. Rushmores of their own just etched into their hillsides, because by now it's cheap, computer-programmable, and very precise, this terra-forming business is, yep yep.
What to do with it all? Well, you pick a wide open space and hit it with whatever explosives or hand-of-god energy manipulation stuff we've got by then (HAARP research and the LHC might bring back some beauties from the dark side), and wabam poof bang you've got yourself a couple sets of foothills (50, 70 miles long?) and potential for a lush valley between. Yay, lush valleys.
Fly overhead and drop some hyper plant life powder on the wide-open-space-hopefully-fertile-and-not-charred-by-explosives topsoil, and within a year there's plant life everywhere. Begin construction.
Result: an urban planning major's wet dream. Civic space designed from the ground up. Can you imagine what future cities are going to look like? They will be DA BOMB!
And probably riddled with advertisements.
Controlled traffic.
Yawn, heard it. I swear this one is some civic planning major's dream child. BTdubs, I figured out how to make that punctuation fly. Suck it blogspot! Or rather, thank you for making this available in some fashion?
Anyways. Controlled traffic. Same premise as air traffic controllers and airplanes, just integrated into a functional and practical way for people and their cars. It would require COMPUTERS. One in each car, which basically does the driving and is centrally monitored and controlled by a hub. Now, there's the whole "SkyNet has become self aware" stuff, but that's outside the scope of this post. See, I stay on topic, I don't ramble like some punks. (Watch out, I ramble a LOT).
Anyways, the hub controls the flow of traffic, there's no more gridlock, rubbernecking, nervous lane changers jockeying for position; all that gets wiped away. Check out youtube for "accordion effect" in traffic scenarios.
The incentives? Why the F should I relinquish control of MY automobile?
1. You get to read and check your email and talk on the phone! Risk free! (Mostly. SkyNet could wake up...)
2. MAJOR savings in gas and emissions: MPG would skyrocket with a steady speed, and highways and major thoroughfares would have few if any starts and stops.
3. Everybody gets there faster (on average). It's still possible the speed demons would be slowed. But a solution for that:
4. Sell different tiers of speed and traffic passes, just like the EZ-Pass toll scanners. In DA FUTURE there would even be a level where sports cars would have permission to whip through traffic, gaps between cars, and go on ridiculous joyrides. Their cars would be monitored and prevented from crashing, sort of an invisible hand guiding it through traffic, but the driver would have a lot of control over the way the car drives and maneuvers, giving him the illusion of complete control. With sports cars being developed to the level of formula-1 performance, there's no reason why a Ferrari owner couldn't blaze over long highway stretches and be slowed down remotely and steered before disaster.
It's really not that much farther stretched in concept than the way trains and airplanes are centrally monitored and controlled. Only now and IN DA FUTURE will we have the computers to do it. This wouldn't be a paradigm shift in the design, manufacture, and infastructure of personal transportation. It would really just look like each car having an extra computer module, connectivity with a satellite to a government-regulated control system, along with a radar system for detecting unexpected objects.
Ok, integration with existing infastructure MIGHT take a while, but what will this really look like? Duh! Designated HOV lanes. Let's call it SkyBoss. I like that.
First, 2 out of 5 lanes on the highway would be for SkyBoss cars only. Eventually it would be 4 out of 5 lanees, or 12 out of 15, whatever our highway systems turn out to be. Turn on your SkyBoss mode, switch lanes, and let the computer take over. When your exit comes up, switch out of that mode, merge to the other lanes, exit the highway.
How to enforce that deisgnation? Easy! Money. Put a camera every 1000 feet (a webcam with a solar panel mounted to the median - it would cost $0.75 to make) to monitor those lanes and read license plates. If you're in the lane in an antiquated vehicle, you get a $500 fine.
The whole self-aware government-controlled-tragic-highway-accident-elimination-of-undesired-individuals-made-easy program would begin on our highways and state routes. Maybe it would never reach into the small suburbs and back roads in its fullest form, but just maybe you could still check your email (risk free!) on your morning commute through town with SkyBoss just keeping your car at pace with the stop and go traffic, regardless of whether anyone else around you has it.
Hell, Google already has practically the whole of the civilized world mapped out in Street View. You think this stuff is really that far off? Give it til 2025, at the latest.
Anyways. Controlled traffic. Same premise as air traffic controllers and airplanes, just integrated into a functional and practical way for people and their cars. It would require COMPUTERS. One in each car, which basically does the driving and is centrally monitored and controlled by a hub. Now, there's the whole "SkyNet has become self aware" stuff, but that's outside the scope of this post. See, I stay on topic, I don't ramble like some punks. (Watch out, I ramble a LOT).
Anyways, the hub controls the flow of traffic, there's no more gridlock, rubbernecking, nervous lane changers jockeying for position; all that gets wiped away. Check out youtube for "accordion effect" in traffic scenarios.
The incentives? Why the F should I relinquish control of MY automobile?
1. You get to read and check your email and talk on the phone! Risk free! (Mostly. SkyNet could wake up...)
2. MAJOR savings in gas and emissions: MPG would skyrocket with a steady speed, and highways and major thoroughfares would have few if any starts and stops.
3. Everybody gets there faster (on average). It's still possible the speed demons would be slowed. But a solution for that:
4. Sell different tiers of speed and traffic passes, just like the EZ-Pass toll scanners. In DA FUTURE there would even be a level where sports cars would have permission to whip through traffic, gaps between cars, and go on ridiculous joyrides. Their cars would be monitored and prevented from crashing, sort of an invisible hand guiding it through traffic, but the driver would have a lot of control over the way the car drives and maneuvers, giving him the illusion of complete control. With sports cars being developed to the level of formula-1 performance, there's no reason why a Ferrari owner couldn't blaze over long highway stretches and be slowed down remotely and steered before disaster.
It's really not that much farther stretched in concept than the way trains and airplanes are centrally monitored and controlled. Only now and IN DA FUTURE will we have the computers to do it. This wouldn't be a paradigm shift in the design, manufacture, and infastructure of personal transportation. It would really just look like each car having an extra computer module, connectivity with a satellite to a government-regulated control system, along with a radar system for detecting unexpected objects.
Ok, integration with existing infastructure MIGHT take a while, but what will this really look like? Duh! Designated HOV lanes. Let's call it SkyBoss. I like that.
First, 2 out of 5 lanes on the highway would be for SkyBoss cars only. Eventually it would be 4 out of 5 lanees, or 12 out of 15, whatever our highway systems turn out to be. Turn on your SkyBoss mode, switch lanes, and let the computer take over. When your exit comes up, switch out of that mode, merge to the other lanes, exit the highway.
How to enforce that deisgnation? Easy! Money. Put a camera every 1000 feet (a webcam with a solar panel mounted to the median - it would cost $0.75 to make) to monitor those lanes and read license plates. If you're in the lane in an antiquated vehicle, you get a $500 fine.
The whole self-aware government-controlled-tragic-highway-accident-elimination-of-undesired-individuals-made-easy program would begin on our highways and state routes. Maybe it would never reach into the small suburbs and back roads in its fullest form, but just maybe you could still check your email (risk free!) on your morning commute through town with SkyBoss just keeping your car at pace with the stop and go traffic, regardless of whether anyone else around you has it.
Hell, Google already has practically the whole of the civilized world mapped out in Street View. You think this stuff is really that far off? Give it til 2025, at the latest.
TVshirts
tvshirts is probably appropriate. you see, the punctuation available on my droid phone is not compatible with this text screen. well, only commas, periods, ?, are available. the rest i must press alt to use, and it just so happens that the letter v also has the hyphen on its button. anyway, tvshirts. in short, regular tees will have video screens and wifi/youtube connectivity. by the way, the uppercase function doesnt work, either. i just worry what this blog would read like in all caps.
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